A Story of Transformation

Julie and Sheryl (not their real names) are students at the same high school. Many students from the school attended a hockey game. Julie was not at the game. However, the next day there was a lot of talk and criticism of Sheryl, who was seen flirting with one of the hockey players, who was the boyfriend of one of Julie¹s friends. There was a lot of bad feelings toward Sheryl. Later in the day Julie and Sheryl passed each other while changing classes. An incident occurred, that was described differently by both girls (the mediators did not attempt to "fact-find" around this). However, it was clear that the least that happened was that Julie had a knife in her hand and "showed" it to Sheryl "to bother her". Sheryl believed that Julie was threatening to stab her. The incident was reported to the Principal. When the Principal spoke to Julie she lied, and said she did not have a knife but had a pencil in her hand. However, as a result of different accounts from the victim and others involved, the police were called and the following day Julie was removed from the school in handcuffs.

After nearly a year of court appearances by Julie, this case was referred to CMS-D by the court. Two mediators were requested to take on the case. They met with the accused, Julie and her mother as well as the victim, Sheryl and her parents. A surprising fact was that Sheryl and her family did not know that this matter was on-going and had assumed that nothing had been done by the authorities-a fact that they found quite frustrating considering the serious nature of the incident and the disruption to their family life that had resulted. All the parties agreed to attend mediation.

During the mediation the following disclosures were made. Julie's mother, a single parent, had been humiliated by the whole episode, that her daughter had been involved in such an incident, that she had been removed from school by police, that they had to attend court each month, that her colleagues and family might become aware of this and generally she was ashamed of her daughter's behaviour. Her life had been disrupted and her employment was in jeopardy, because each month she had to take a day off work to attend court and this had been going on for a year.

Sheryl's mother on the other hand was ashamed of her daughter's behaviour at the hockey game and as a result had imposed very strict conditions on her and virtually stopped all social arrangements. She was distressed that Sheryl, who was a top student, was no longer achieving at school. She also lived in fear for her daughter¹s life, a fear of Sheryl being stabbed by Julie and her gang. This fear resulted in Sheryl's father transporting her to and from school each day, but discreetly dropping her off and collecting her a distance away from the school, so that no one was aware of this protective measure.

During the mediation there were many expressions of: "I didn't know that", "I wish I had known before", "If only this mediation had taken place earlier". During the mediation Julie expressed remorse for the incident and said she would have liked to apologise to Sheryl before, but because of the court condition not permitting her to communicate with Sheryl, she had not been able to. Both girls expressed how much they had each liked each other prior to the incident and would like to pick up on this relationship again. Their parents expressed that they thought the other girl was a very nice person and were sorry that this had ever taken place.

The agreement that was signed by the girls and witnesses by the parents stated:

Julie apologized for the incident. So did Julie's mother. Sheryl and her parents accepted the apologies.
Sheryl and Julie agreed to put the incident behind them and to greet each other and resume a friendly interaction, as existed prior to the incident.
Julie agreed to set an example of a friendly attitude towards Sheryl in front of her friends and would "stand by" Sheryl if the need occurred.
Julie expressed remorse for the incident and assured Sheryl and her parents that no similar incident would ever occur again.
Both Sheryl and Julie agreed that this mediation and what was discussed in the mediation would remain confidential and that they give no explanation to others regarding this agreement (other than court related requirements).
The parents expressed appreciation for the outcome of the mediation and they regretted that the mediation had not been held much sooner after the incident. All were satisfied that this should be the end of the matter and did not wish it to proceed to court.

At the conclusion, everyone exchanged hugs and good wishes. Tears were flowing and both mediators were discreetly wiping the corners of their eyes!

The mediators came away very fulfilled and felt that this was what mediation was all about! This was a great example of where a mediation had a much more satisfying outcome for all concerned, than a criminal trial would have.